Trinity KidsThoughts on kids, family, faith and home.

There is a misconception out there that there is such a thing as “model” parents.  A “model” parent is always patient, caring, loving, teaching, smiling, fair, fun and perfect.  They always know the best way to deal with a difficult situation and demonstrate discipline with grace and love.  However, as hard as we parents try, we are not perfect, nor will we ever be perfect.  But like it or not, we are models for how our kids view marriage.  They are watching our every move and learning from us, both the good and the bad.  Wouldn’t it be great if we could hide our imperfections from them and only show them our patient, well-balanced side?  You and I both know that’s not how things really are.  We are all just human, not super-human, super-dad or super-mom.  As Christians, we need to rely daily on God’s Word, his demonstration of grace and love and the Spirit’s wisdom in all the parenting decisions we need to make.  We need to show our children that a marriage includes forgiveness, affection, respect, and love.  We may not be model parents but our children develop a view of marriage from what we model.    What are you modelling to your children?

Here’s a link to a neat article that highlights 10 things kids learn from their parents marriage.

things-kids-learn-from-their-parents-marriage-ta-a-1454.html

Due to popular demand, I’ve added a Preschool camp for this summer. This camp is for children ages 3-5 and it will take place the week of July 30-Aug 3, 2012. Parents have their choice of registering for a morning camp from 9-11:30am or an afternoon camp from 1-3:30pm. If you know of anyone who is interested in registering please let them know of our camp website at www.adventuredaycamps.ca.

Also, you may have noticed that I’ve replaced the Gr. 4-6 camp that was originally scheduled that week.  I’ve tried to make use of all of our resources without stretching our volunteer limit too far.  Hopefully that explains why we’re running 3 camps this summer instead of 5.  There still is a Gr. 2-6 camp available for that age group, running July 16-20, 2012.  As well, we’re planning some fun Super Summer Kids Days.  Stay tuned for information about dates for those days.

Hey guys and gals,

Just read a few resources from Mark Holmen, great stuff, check it out here…

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this on here before, but there’s a great site called www.whattheyplay.com which gives parents information on all the different videos games and platforms available for gaming. It’s a fantastic resource for parents… I really encourage you as a parent to take a look!

One of the interesting observations of technology and our culture, is that the more common the technology becomes, the more it trickles down to younger and younger children. The use of computers and cell phones are two examples. There are children who are age 8 carrying around cell phones – a big change from five years ago! The ipad is another device that has lowered the age range of technology. There are some great applications for children who are toddlers or infants out there!

Facebook is another one of those ‘things’ that we’ve seen the perception and acceptability for children becoming more and more normal. One survey sees as many as 5 million children under the age of 10 who are on facebook. All it takes is a lie about ages to make the account active.

While this has been going on, Facebook has held to their age policy – but this weekend Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg caused a stir with a recommendation that children under 13 should be allowed to join social networking sites. Here’s an article about it:

http://www.pcworld.com/article/228348/kids_under_13_are_already_allowed_on_facebook.html

Now, to be fair Zuckerberg has come back and said they are not opening up facebook to children under age 13… here’s the article on that – I’d encourage you to read it and get a sense of why they won’t open it up… yet:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/05/25/us-facebook-zuckerberg-idUSTRE74O5L020110525

The reason is not because of right/wrong but because it is too difficult with existing regulations. The complexity of protecting children is the limiting factor — however if regulations change, or they can find a simpler way to deal with regulations, we should expect a policy change.

Now there are a lot of redeeming factors with facebook – it connects family, it could be used for education, and encourages social interaction – but as families our boundaries should not be determined by changable policies. The facebook age limit is 13 – but what is your family’s age limit?

Things change – perhaps your view of facebook will change for better or for worse – the point is that as families we need to be engaged in our culture, and make decisions and set boundaries – not let the world set them for us. The benefit of this is not just keeping a young child off of facebook, but re-establishing mom and dad as the guides for growing up, not the internet and the culture around us.

11) Children can hide status updates from their parents. If you want to see what your child is doing – log onto their profile.

12) Advertisements are being intergrated into all things technical – youtube, ipods and iphones, websites, etc. The content and devices may be ok, but you don’t know what the advertisements are like.

13) What is unacceptable now, will be acceptable in the coming years. Things that we question will slowly become more and more common. What you say ‘no’ to now, may be taken for granted in two years. That is the trend. One example is Mark Zuckerberg (Founder of Facebook) is advocating that Facebook age restrictions be removed to allow all ages.

14) Your children are watching you and how you use technology

15) Protecting our online identity and personal information is just as important as ‘don’t talk to strangers or get in cars with people you don’t know’. Learn what this means and practice it.

16) Children in Elementary are accessing pornography – at home, at friends, and at school at times. Boys and girls are doing this. Their view of sexuality will be defined by the culture around them if Mom and Dad don’t provide an ongoing conversation of what is right, wrong, why, how, who, when, etc.

17) Our faith has implications on our use of technology. Don’t allow these two things to become disconnected. Not sure what this means? Ask.

18) Not everyone else is ‘doing it’ or ‘has it’. Facebook, cell phones, texting, etc. are not done by everyone. There are lots of kids who aren’t. Find a group of parents who are on the same page, make decisions together, and stick with it. There is power in numbers!

19) The world is different than when we were kids. Kids though are still kids. They do not need technology to play. Technology though, is a form of play. There is a balance in there somewhere.

20) Technology is expensive. There are low cost alternatives to each and every device. Parents don’t have to buy everything either for their kids.

1) You can’t hide your children from technology – it’s everywhere.  You may say ‘no’ to your children but they are able to access technology, the internet, and media at school, the library and at friends houses.   Don’t pretend your children aren’t exposed to it.  This creates an avenue to talk about it.

2) Facebook does not let children on facebook who are 12 and under.  To do this you must lie.

3) You do not need a computer or laptop to access the internet.  Cell phones, TV’s, and video game systems are providing basic access to the internet.  To control access to the internet and monitor it, you need to monitor those devices also now.

4) Technology in schools is great.  It does not mean though the teacher is an expert on technology.  THey are learning as technology changes too.  Dialogue is important about what realistic expectations are for at home and in the class.  I know of one teacher who was advocating using facebook for his grade 5/6 students as a networking tool for the class.  Problem is those children aren’t old enough to have facebook accounts.  Teachers are a great resource for how to use technology in a positive way, but they don’t know everything, and they’re still learning – so give them some patience, dialogue, and work together to use technology effectively at home.

5)  Kid friendly websites can have inappropriate advertising and links to sites that are not as appropriate.  Don’t take these things for granted.

6) Firewalls and Routers and anti-virus software help, but they don’t stop everything.  Don’t hit ‘ok’ every time it comes on the screen.  IF you don’t understand it then don’t click it.

7) Cyber-bullying is real.  Kids are picked on and mocked online.  The difference is everybody can see it, not just two or three people who hear it when it’s said verbally.

Apple does not technically allow pornography into the app store.  That does not mean apps can’t access pornography.  iPod Touches, etc. all can access pornography through web browsers, etc.

9) Video games are not all designed for kids – many of them are designed for adults.

10) iOS apps (iphone, ipod, ipad) that are for kids often allow for kids to make purchases from in the app.  This can get quite expensive  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2011/02/07/AR2011020706073_2.html?sid=ST2011020706437    Learn how to disable in app purchases – Click on the settings app and then tap on ‘general’. From there tap on ‘restrictions’.  Enter a pass code, and select ‘Enable Restrictions’. You can then disable different applications, including ‘in-app purchases’.

Came across this interesting article about how parents are letting their daughters dress and who is responsible for the sexualization of youth today…

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/04/19/granderson.children.dress/index.html?hpt=T2

Let me know what you think!

Mike

Interesting article in the Edmonton Journal today…

http://www.edmontonjournal.com/entertainment/Moms+reign+Canada+role+models+Survey/4616332/story.html

We often share at church that parents are the primary influence in their children’s lives… I’m not sure people always believe me.  With Justin Bieber, Glee, Mily Cyrus, and more always around the corner on media children are exposed too – well don’t we often feel relegated as parents to just being the keepers of order and sanity? This article is a great reminder that parents are still the greatest influence in their children’s lives!   That means what we say matters to our children – no matter what attitude they may give us back.  That means our love matters to our kids – no matter how they try to pull away.    That means our faith matters to our kids – no matter what they say or do.  Parents -we are the greatest influence in the lives of our children.  Let’s take that as a challenge and affirmation and keep moving forward as parents and in nurturing faith at home.

It is so easy in our world to look around see sin.  When the lifestyle of a person is counter to what we expect or what we value we will label a person a non-Christian.  In some ways it makes us feel better about ourselves – perhaps even superior.   The line is not always so clear.

In 2001 a young woman, 16 years old, named Katy Hudson splashed onto the Christian music scene with her first album.   With songs such as “Trust in Me” and “Faith Won’t Fail” the messages were clear and reflective of the truth we proclaim.  She was lauded by some as gifted and talented.  It was exciting to have another young Christian artist. 

You may not have heard of Katy Hudson.  She only released that one album before she switched, while still 16, to the mainstream pop music.  Isn’t that great?  A chance for Christ to be shone into the mainstream media in the same way artists like Jars of Clay and Michael W. Smith have.   It didn’t quite work that way.

You may not have heard of Katy Hudson because her name was changed when she went secular.  Our culture knows about her as Katy Perry.   An artist you is immensely popular and influential with teens.   Some of her new songs are ‘I kissed a Girl’, ‘Waking up in Vegas’, and ‘UR so Gay’. 

What is my point with this?   Our culture is not ‘us’ versus ‘them’.  It’s not Christian versus Non-Christian.  It’s not somebody else’s child who goes astray – it is a child.  It could be your child, or my child, or someone else’s child.  It is a child. 

No matter how hard we try we cannot fully protect our children from media or hide them from it.   We cannot prevent a child from going astray.  We can be intentional in realizing we only have a finite amount of time to influence our children.  We can realize that teaching discernment is just as (more?) important as teaching strict rules.  We can realize that faith is not inherited, it is a choice made by each person and we can’t force it on our children, but can lead them towards it and nurture it.   We can realize that the story of the prodigal son is not hypothetical, but one lived out each day in our culture by someone, and it could be you or me.  

We can also realize that God’s grace is not seperated from the rest of the world, but there for each person to freely receive and God loves each person in this world – after all He created them.  He desires to lead each person back to Him.  For God there is no Christian or Non-Christian distinction – there are only His children and within that there are those who choose to follow and those who stray.  Our goal is to help each child realize the love of God for them, and help them to focus and receive the love and grace offered in Christ – no matter who they are, or what they do, or what they become in life.